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.Friday, July 9, 2010 ' 11:08 PM Y
;all the things i'll never say.

we didn't deserve it, dammit.

a lot of firsts for me today.
i trudged through, mainly complaining to myself
about how it was just unfair and
we didn't deserve it, not after what we could have been.
and that it shouldn't have happened that way.
it just shouldn't have.
look, you stupid project-
i let you get the better of me. are you laughing now?

halfway through dinner i finally
knew.
superficial, i think.
shit happens, and we look around at the smiling people
and demand, why not them?
i don't know.
so sick of people shrugging their shoulders flippantly
saying that life isn't fair
passing it off as an excuse for everything.
have heard it too many times for it to mean anything.

my eyes are all bloodshot-y and i know now that so many people look at the world and
ask why did this have to happen? when they know, they would not get an answer.
they ask it anyway, because maybe they thought if
they said it enough, they could push for a reason or something.
look, there isn't one.

i hate this feeling. unexplainable things coursing through your
life. i wish there was a reason for everything so it would all be black, white and primary colours.
i don't know why all this stuff happens but i do know that we
cry our eyes out, we eat a few tubs of ice-cream and swear a bit,
and then we get on with our lives because if
we didn't, we would never know what more we are able of doing.

tell me something i don't already know.
too many times for it to matter, anymore.
asked the same question over and over and over.
miserable (it's not going to be okay.)

on a slightly relevant side note,
it's funny how you still give me strength even
when you are not around.
thank you, really. for this and for whatever.
i never got the chance to thank you for maybe even changing my life in
that itty bitty little way you did.

once upon a time, you'd mattered to me.








WHO, ME?;
GINA
15

hullo,
most days, there isn't a rain cloud.
really.
i dissect myself here, sometimes.
and i usually do strange things to my correction tapes.
i would be fulfilling all my childhood dreams now,
if i hadn't forgotten all of them.
i'm afraid of many, many things
but i'm not afraid to be afraid of them.
i have a nose, a mouth and two eyes.
but of course, this is the internet.
i could be an anorexic penguin or something and nobody would even know.

take everything with a pinch of salt
(and a slight dash of sugar).




!SCREAM OUT.Y

yada yada yada. oncemore.


WHO, ME?Y

hello nice to meet you too :D


ooh; funky.

` i am sweet &and sour fourteen. and i want to be twentyone. but im okay with fourteen too.sorta.(:

` singlicious(: but unavailable. ><

` RSSIAN ;SIXONE07 .DHS.TWOIDYLLA.

` i don't post often unless i'm on a roll. but you didnt have to know that

` i moodswing like any other girl; but my moodswings are really, swinging.

` i love ferb. and oliver james. and channing tatum. one has green hair; the other two don't. O:

` my future is ZOMG™. or at least i seriously hope so.

` somethin' bout me-i absolutely adore chickflicks& chicklits.
those who don't believe in love&happyendings can go boil their tawny little heads.

` i hate posting about my day.

` i hate (too) posting about trips in day one, day two, day three formats.

` i secretly want a pure breed pony like any other girl. sorta.

` i love lists/listing. except when it comes to life. unpredictable is my middle name. among many others.

` i hate waiting in line.

` i love it when my turn in the line comes. especially if i'm buying food.

` chocolate is my middle name, my life and my substitube for just about anything. no shit.

` candy is mediocre. sweet stuff and what not. (chocolate doesnt count as candy.)

` next year i'll be fifteen. taylor swift sang about that before. O:

` when i'm sixteeeen, i can swipe my card at the dudes infront of the theater for nc16 shows(: sweet!

` i hate watching movies online but i do it anyway. desperation drives a girl forth.

` gachk. i'm not usually that desperate. it must be some good show, hunh.

` smileys are an absolutely must. and they do not count as punctuation sheesh.

` tiaras and toppings- a must if i ever become royal.

` i am. kinda. teehees.

` writing is my middle name. creative arts and what nots.

` colours maketh a woman so if you have a thing against them, steer clear!

` tatty teddy's aweseomly cute. all abandoned bears should end up like him.

` i don't have a favourite colour; unless pen-colour determines so; pink&purple wins hands down

` someday i will fall in love. do not laugh; it is very unfunny.

` and yes, i often burst out into song.

` i bounce around alot; gravity can't keep me dooooown!

` the pen is invariably mightier than the sword.

` i habour the ability to blast your brains over the floor but i practice regular self control.
most of the times.

` i am not-so-secretly in love with whipped cream. i lick that stuff when no one is looking/ infront of the whole world. who gives a shit, really?

` i love the way you blend dairy products and chocolate bits and cream into awesome double chocolate frappes.

` i crave for doublecheese burgers once every week. at situated times.

` i am a romance writer in the making. sorta.
for those who don't believe in love- i hope you fall head over heels one day and i'll be there to say 'i told you so.' *snarl*

` happyendings are usually overrated.
but not entirely impossible.

` a perfect guy, on the other hand; drat what are the odds?

` with music, comes dancing. or at least embarrasing, futile attempts that will not see the light of day(:

` with dancing, comes crazy, bubbled up giggling. but pretend i didnt say anything.

` i feel woozy and slurred after i pop small triangular pink pills. just so you know.

` maybe i'll even go blond someday.

` sometimes my life is a bad sitcom. mismatched ironies; cliches and what nots.

` i don't drink cooler/bottled mineral water unless absolutely necessary.

` i devour books. and i'm never truly full.

` correction tapes too. there never seem to be enough for me graah.

` i have a thing for skinnyties(:

` i love anything in mini/bite-sized; most of the times.

` i find myself subconsciously owning a heckload of red objects. heaven knows why O:

` i adore late night talks with special people.

` i honestly can't give good advice and everything i predict screws up/ doesn't come true. you have been warned.

` i love walking&talking. long dreamy stretches that edge on forever.

` i can't stand cryptic people but i love being cryptic.

well,
i dance in the shower and sing in the rain; i twirl around people and run towards food; fall head over heels for anything particularly cute with a smart mouth; and eat hotdog buns before the actual hotdogs. i have an overactive imagination and crazy action-packed dreams.
i hate using umbrellas and got tangled up in a disposible raincoat once.
my spelling is screwed up.
cucumbers and celery are exceptionally unappealing.
i never wanted to be a disney princess when i was young. still don't.
when i'm crazy about somethin' i go all out.
i'm only organized for certain things.
i will absolutely not tell you who the posters in my room are of.
i have a thing against floral prints
i do alot of nuts& bolts when i'm alone(:
i'm abit freaked by cats.
i have a thing for ribbons;
piano is my other profession.
i have a thing for black.
i eat tomatoes& apples whole& raw.
i can't recite the alphabet backwards since i'm struggling with forward already.
i'm half-nocturnal. sometimes full.
i love doodling. it's my part-time occupation.
daydreaming would be the full-time one.
i can't ever remember my dreams at all and half the time it annoys the shyt out of me.
i can't learn languages. seriously.
i get into heated arguments/ name-calling with the voice in my head. usually cranky snapping on my part :X
i cannot watch horror films. so sue me.
i love tracing paper and sketchy markers.
i am not quite so fragile-.-
there are two sides of me; the other only some has seen(:
i am truly not all glitter and rainbows.
i am a sucker for romance and what nots.
my evil twin runs loose somewhere.
so whatever it is; it's probably her fault.
i am me.
i'm kinda side to side. fickle and cranky one hour; happy and intoxicated the next.
the weight of the world is never on my shoulders.
it doesn't take much to blow me away;
but it takes a lifetime to comprehend me.
even for myself.
;/ especially for myself.
` i do alot of crazy shit.


but you know; it's a phrase. we'll grow out of it, they say. it'll pass eventually and they will all grow up, people say. but,.
a phrase? maybe.
what if these are the best part of our lives?
people come and go and be judgmental about a lot of things; but it's not a phrase, this time.
it's just me and you.
against the world.
life is so very short and should be wasted on chocolate and good books.
sing in the shower
and dance in the rain.
occasionally;
break the rules and bring down the house!
ohyes, we rule the world; phrase or not.

this ain't entirely a phrase; this is just us.
who we are.
may the memories never end.
not in this lifetime.
or the next.



FOR TEENAGERS WHO WILL LIVE ON AND ON!
>toast<
` and yes; we're forever

DOORWAY TO NARNIA;Y

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