.Thursday, August 26, 2010 ' 8:02 PM Y
;all the things i'll never say.
And if tonight ever makes a difference
Swallow the words
that I was meant to say.

for those nights when i couldn't be there.
because it's so true that we only live once can't the world just let us
do our thing without
the world constantly watching us like a bloody
hawk?
i don't know what's wrong with me.
it's like i'm constantly screwing up but somehow it
just feels normal.
it feels like it's alright and the world isn't
going to blame me, or anything.
katherine mansfield was right, about how when you are young
you get back onto your feet
no matter what.
so, so golden.
hope next week works out.
it's funny when you visualize something in your head and
how it's never the same when it finally happens.
year-end is coming.
we know it because training is stopping and teachers are melodramatically
failing their arms during lessons and everyone just looks half-dead and pissed at the world
and our files are so crammed filled with papers that we can't close it and
you can't even find your laptop because your desk is
so bloody messy.
need a life.
can i say that i don't quite need anyone in that sense.
(don't judge me don't judge me don't judge me.)
what?
i think it's like, when you are with someone
you get so romantically/ otherwise attached to them,
that you can't spend a waking moment without them by your side and
being alone just gets frightening.
but really, being alone is mad awesome sometimes.
because you don't have to answer to
anyone and dare i say
i know myself better than anyone of you out there.
(on the contrary, sometimes you see right through me
and to be perfectly honest,
it scares me but
then again, i don't know where i would be
without you and your
stale-dead humour.)
so!
got myself a large cup of milk tea,
going to read on the couch
and laze saturday away.
don't feel like caring. decided that there are much more to life
than macbeth and thermal physics.
hey, see that bright thing in the sky?
it's the sun. the earth revolves around it,
not you.
for those days we felt like mistake.