.Thursday, August 19, 2010 ' 8:18 PM Y
;all the things i'll never say.
Matter of fact it was just the other night, had another dream about you,
You told me to get up, I got up,
I spread my wings and I flew.

(ages ago of 3L)
i know, i know. have so much to do and i need more hours in my day, too.
but today, i realised something and i must get it out in
alphabets and stuff.
so, yeah. (life is sucky recently, by the way. but somehow,
i don't feel quite so bad.
i don't know. maybe it's just me getting used to everything.
i will wake up tomorrow of course. and again, and again.)
this new thing, it's very, very liberating.
(this means that you were nothing but a ball of chains around my
swollen ankles. euuuuh.)
heh, i mean like, all you did was bring me down time and again.
so carried away, that i might have forgotten
the ones who have been there all along, i think.
and, the ones who i've only just began to know, but i can see each and every one of them
and they are nothing like you.
it's a beautiful feeling. i don't know why, but it just is.
like plunging into an icy cold lake when its 140 degrees out.
or walking on tightrope with the people you love the most in life.
or looking up across the room at that moment because he's thinking what you are thinking and
everything else just has to fall into place.
oh, well.
i'm just psyched that i can finally leave you and your words in the
past. been wanting to do that since forever but you wouldn't
give me a chance. you kept springing onto me.
i love how you suddenly realise something quite tiny about your life but then
it changes everything and suddenly
you can't stop smiling like an idiot.
i love smiling like an idiot all through the day, and the one after that.
and that, and that, and that.
this one, its nothing near romance, i should warn you.
(you know this bit- not everything you love has to be romance,
will you people please
just grow up already?)
this is i-love-you-because-we-know-what-each-other-is-thinking, and that you make me smile (like an idiot) with the slightest, slightest thing.
it drives me crazy sometimes, but dang, i love it.
and also, i-love-you-because-you-would-stand-up-for-me-like-i-would-for-you.
anytime, i promise.
so! all that being said,
today was long, and shitty and tiring, but
god help me, i can't stop smiling.
i think,
the people who can make you smile even when life dumps thorn-apples on you
are the ones really worth holding on to.
this is what i've been looking for, i think. (:
tried too hard, like how we always do in life.
have no regrets, whatsoever.
am grateful for it and for you,
saw through your paper-thin defense and
the person underneath is beautiful, but don't tell them i said
that.